I have recently closed my account on a very prominent social networking site. I like to call it "Fakebook." When I first heard of FB, I wanted to join right away and I did. I was so excited to be able to connect with my friends in this way; to see what was going on in their lives on a daily basis, and to share what was going on in my life too. I liked to see how creative and interesting I could make my status. I had fun there for about 3 years. Then one day, it wasn't fun anymore. I realized that it was empty. I felt lonely when logged in and saw everyone so near and yet so far. I found this kind of ironic since the idea of social media is about getting more intimately into the lives of others, But, I felt like it was fake.
I wasn't spending a lot of time on there, but I would check my account an average of once a day. I would always scroll down and read the latest status updates of my "friends." One day I read 3 updates from a "friend" who I hadn't seen in 20 years. In real life she had been an acquaintance. I began to question why I was spending my time reading about her life when I would probably never see her again or have another live conversation with her, let alone meet for coffee.
It was an easy way to contact people. I decided that didn't matter; anyone on there who needed to contact me had my phone number and I had theirs. I would rather hear their voice.
When I told my 10-year-old daughter that I'd left FB she was shocked. I told her it wasn't bringing me life. I felt lonely there. She'd been wanting to join herself, but we told her she had to wait until she was older. The problem, I've heard, for teens on FB is it gives the appearance that everyone else is having more fun than them. The result is - guess - loneliness.
Perhaps I'll go back on someday, maybe soon, maybe not. If I do, maybe I'll hide some people whose lives I don't need to know so much about.
Last week I read an article in which author Shelly Turkle is quoted and I think she is bang on. "People are lonely. The network is seductive. But if we're always on, we may deny ourselves the rewards of solitude. As we distribute ourselves, we may abandon ourselves. Sometimes people experience no sense of having communicated after hours of connection."
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